For the avoidance of doubt, I'm not instructed to represent the promoters of the Garden Bridge. I don't have shares in an urban gardening company, a bridge engineering practice, real estate on the Embankment, or even a back-catalogue of Absolutely Fabulous. I have a healthy respect for Gurkhas, but I wouldn't necessary cross the Thames to say as much.

What I do have is a recent passport stamp from a visit to New York; evidence of a recent summer holiday stop-over in Manhattan. There were two outstanding highlights for family Anderson; firstly, dinner at Ellen's Stardust Diner, where I got involved in a passingly decent version of Taylor Swift's 'Shake It Off' with Connie from Seattle, who was 'in between' Broadway shows, and was wasted serving burgers and chips. My contribution was principally confined to shaking, as opposed to singing, but despite my youngest thinking I was having a minor seizure, I'm pretty sure my fellow diners credited me with helping Connie through some of the trickier elements of the verse – especially the rap.